Know Your Current Events!
First up this week: a disgusting old piece of cake. What's that? Oh... excuse me... a disgusting antique piece of cake. Aren't you supposed to keep the top tier and eat it on your first anniversary? Isn't that how that old tradition (i.e. superstition) goes? I have never heard of saving a piece of wedding cake, so that it can outlast you and your spouse, and be passed down for generations, only to be sold at auction by Sotheby's. Way to go Princess Louise. I thought the Victorians were supposed to be on top of such things. This hunk of sweet is 138 years old! I don't even want to think what that must look/smell/taste like. "'We advise them not to eat a 138-year-old piece of cake," said Amy Kiernan, a spokeswoman for the fair." Seriously?? Do you think anyone would actually want to eat that? Gross. I wonder if it was decorated using the Wilton® method...
Next, a man in Fort Smith, AR crashed his truck through the gates of the local airport and made his way toward an airplane. It seems that he was planning on flying a Cessna all the way to Israel, because he "had all the answers." Apparently not, otherwise he might have thought better of flying a plane that was missing a key piece of equipment. Like propellers. I love that the police charged him with felony Criminal Mischief and misdemeanor Criminal Trespass. Really, he should have been charged with being a complete nutcase. I guess Sebastian County doesn't really have the resources for that. But then again, to an Arkansan (or any of us from the Deep South, really), it doesn't seem insane at all to come across a crazed white man waving a Bible who claims to have all the answers...
And finally, a nod to overnight world Internet sensation Frumpzilla.... err... I mean... Susan Boyle. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Don't make fun of that wonderful woman. She is a prime example of 'not judging a book by its cover.'" And you're absolutely right. I admit, when I first watched her audition video on YouTube, I was expecting a Scottish William Hung. I was pleasantly surprised, as it turns out the whole world was. There are two things about this story I'd like to comment on. First, I find it absolutely atrocious that this woman has become a phenomenon, not because of her amazing set of pipes (which she clearly has), but because she is so completely plain, and a little bit awkward. Because somehow, talent and good looks go hand-in-hand. Heaven forbid a perfectly normal-looking person have something other than good looks on offer. My second comment on this story refers to her expression of surprise at the reaction to her wonderful rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream" (people tell me this is from a musical... I don't really keep up with such things). "'I'm gobsmacked, absolutely gobsmacked,' she told CNN on Friday morning." What the crap kind of word is 'gobsmacked'? English may be a living language, but I would sooner allow 'irregardless' into the OED than use the word 'gobsmacked' on a regular basis.
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